Holy Hannah, life is spectacular.

My oldest son, Eric Scott Doerneman, is marrying the most amazing woman, Jillian Claire Prather!

Eric is getting married!I love, love, love Jillian. She is a perfect match for Eric. They met at Kansas State University; Eric graduated from the college two years ago with a degree in Mechanical Engineering. Jillian will graduate in May with a degree in Industrial Engineering.

I know, I know, two engineers. How will that work, right? Well, neither one is your typical engineer. They both have personality! They are fun and funny. They are wicked smart. They have vision. They are full of life and I love them both to pieces.

Eric is Getting Married!Their first instinct was to get married NEXT spring. But Jillian, like I said, has vision. She knew the job she wanted. She hunted it down, applied and was hired.

And it’s in Madison, Wisconsin.

So Eric, being smart, asked his girlfriend to be his fiance. Their wedding is in June.

Who needs a year and a half to plan a wedding, anyway?

I love, love, love that they are going to be going on a fantastic adventure right away, moving halfway across the country. I am so happy for them. I love that they will see new sights and meet new people. I love that they will truly have only each other for a bit, until they get established and find new friends and fun co-workers.

I love that.

I love Jillian’s family. As a bonus, they are related to friends (David and Karen Schinstock) here in Wichita, so the wedding should be super fun.

Now, I could go on and on and on about life and love, but I thought it would be interesting to ask YOU for your advice on married life! Please leave comments in my Facebook feed or down below this post. (You have to put in your email but that system is only used to keep the trolls away.)

Just look over these questions and if you have something you could give my man child and his bride-to-be on one of these topics (or add your own!) I’m sure they’ll appreciate it! And if something doesn’t strike them, it will probably be good for others to hear. We all need bolstering in our vocation.

  • What’s the best part of being married?
  • What was the most surprising thing about being married?
  • If you could do anything differently, what would it be?
  • What do they NEED in their married life?
  • What advice would you give them for handling money? (This is what most married couples fight over.) Was there something that made a difference for you?
  • Do you have any special thoughts or tips about the actual wedding?
  • Any tips about Madison, Wisconsin?

Thank you!

Okay, now my turn for advice. Let’s see, number one, work on communication. However that has to happen, Eric and Jillian, just do it. SO MANY TIMES I felt things but didn’t voice them. Silly me. Once I voiced something, the situation got resolved because I married a kind, loving man.

So, my most practical piece of advice: every so often, at least once a month, but preferably every week, take a bottle of wine and go get comfy in a nice spot. TALK about whatever you need to discuss. Listen deeply to each other. Live your married life on purpose.

Oh, and of course, know that no matter what, you are both human. You cannot be the savior of the other. I know you know that. I KNOW YOU KNOW THAT. But when married, it’s odd. We believe the movie version of our lives should be happening.

Keep a right understanding about that. GOD is the Higher Power, the Savior, Your Source of Power, not each other. When you make each other frustrated, it’s good to step back and see the bigger picture, “Oh, yeah, you are simply human. It’s okay. I love you. Let’s go out for pizza.” 

One last thing: your gene pool is fabulously stocked. Your children will be such a blessing to this world.

Eric is getting married!

“Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday.” -The Clergyman, Princess Bride

Lori Doerneman

Lori Doerneman

I love my marriage consummated and my Jesus consecrated. I also love seeing the eternal in the ordinary tasks of every day life. That's why I write.
Lori Doerneman

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  1. Dave Ramsey. All. The. Way. Like you follow Jesus Christ. Seriously. It sounds rediculous. It seems extreme. We were “fans” for eight years, until life got real. I cannot tell you the extent to which we have been blessed because we began to live God’s stewardship plan for us over the last two years. You can call or email me any time. We’ll sponsor you! :)
    Next, a marriage retreat once a year that someone else plans and puts together and you just show up for. The wisdom of other’s experiences and letting the Holy Spirit move you in ways you never expected is invaluable. But, you probably already knew that one! 😉

  2. Money, yes it does cause fights. Follow Momma Lori’s advice and look into some dave ramsey. I love listening to him, iheart radio on my drive from work, helps keep me on track! Do budgets together & be on the same page, if your not, both compromise, meet in the middle. This will help you have a little wiggle room for those precious babies & Give generously!

    <3 Gina Jay

    (Love your momma's advice with the bottle of wine & talking! We don't do that enough, need to FIND the time, so important! )

  3. Best part of being married.- Being with your best friend for the rest of your life.

    Most surprising thing.- your partner is not as clean as you are.

    if I could do anything differently what would it be? I think we did it right.

    What advice on money? My husband & I agree on this one. SAVE YOUR MONEY. Pay With Cash. The most expensive thing you will ever purchase will be your home, You may finance only that. Our motto is you don’t have the cash you don’t need the item. So many people get in the trap of credit card debt, over financing, bankruptcy etc. It’s sad. Don’t do it. Take care of your home & money like you would a business. You’ll be happy in the end. When you do buy a home never put down the minimum. Make sure the down payment is as much as you can.

    What do married couples need in their life.- GOD & ALCOHOL! SEX! Spending time together away from the darn TV. When children start arriving away from them as well.

    Destination Wedding all the way. Save the money spent on the wedding for a home. That’s what we did.

    Tips on Madison Wisconsin? Oh, honey yes. BUG BOMBS! Those Mosquitos are the size of B52’s

  4. The best part of Doug and mines marriage is we married our best friend. The most surprising thing about our marriage is how easy it CAN be. If I could change anything it would be to Trust in God more. I would have so much less anxiety if I could only Trust in Him more. Money, Doug is the money manager of this family. We figured out very early on that I was incapable of raising Littles and managing the bills. We listen to each other’s ideas and then come up with a plan that we both like. After 25 years that has worked out amazing for us! As for the all important sacrament of marriage, remember to give thanks to not only the people who helped with the celebration but more important give thanks to God for the gift of each other.

  5. I promise to be true to you –

    In good times and bad – the good times are easy. The bad times are hard.

    For richer and poorer – just remember Who is the giver of ALL gifts. He doesn’t have to bless you, but He will if you “do what is right and pleasing in the sight of the Lord.”

    In sickness and in health – healthy no problem. In sickness not so great. I remember repeating to myself my wedding vows as I emptied my husband’s bedside commode full of poo. Poor guy had broken 2 ankles, a heel and an elbow in a fall off the ladder. if his body wasn’t broken enough, let’s see if we can’t break his manhood a bit. Have him poop and pee in a bucket and then have someone else empty it! Yep. Not poor me. The lesson in humility is tough!

    Until death do us part – yep death! Could come sooner or much later but it will come! Always kiss each other with a heartfelt hello and goodbye. Always end each text and phone call with a heartfelt I love you. Be grateful for another day of picking up his socks or helping her with the groceries. Love like there may be no tomorrow.

  6. A tip on the wedding.
    In the age of Pintrest, the list of things that can be done to make the ceremony cute, or pretty, or unique, goes on forever.
    I suggest that you hold solidly to the idea that the most important thing happening thay day is a marriage. A beautiful and terrifying and blessed event. The atmosphere should be one of nervous joy; of grave elation.
    Avoid the kitsch. Leave the trendy behind. Use all the beautiful and traditional imagery that unites this marriage with the marriages of the parents and the grandparents and the great grandparents… The vows taken that day are heavy; seemingly too much to take on. But lean on the knowledge and remembered imagery that those vows have been carried for millennia by the ancestoral couples that have led to their wedding day.

  7. Never forget that “a perfect marriage is two imperfect people who are not willing to give up on each other.’

  8. Another vote for Dave Ramsey! Find a Financial Peace University class to attend TOGETHER. And as another person commented, at the end of your wedding day you will be married, and that’s what truly matters. Don’t stress about the small details, it will steal your joy. I forgot the Tiffany champagne flutes we were supposed to use for the toast at our wedding. Guess what? Nobody knew, and it did not matter. A wedding is one day, a marriage is for a lifetime.

  9. 1. PRAY TOGETHER. 2. Trust God and each other. 3. Welcome children and raise them with love. 4. Say “I love you” every day. 5. God First; Spouse and Children Second; I Am Third.

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